Reflections

I don’t know if it’s just me, or if all parents do it, but every night after putting my daughter to bed, I find myself looking at pictures I’ve taken during the day and laughing at all the funny things she said or did. It seems like while I’m in the moment, I’m tired, worn-out, and waiting for my husband to get home from work to help me. I realize that I criticize myself and how I acted earlier with her. I hope that she doesn’t remember the eye-roll that I gave her, or how I snapped at her when she asked for a snack for the forty-third time.
I take notice of how she treats her dolls and if that is any correlation, I think I’m doing a pretty good job. She talks sweetly to them, reads to them, feeds them, and puts them down for naps. She holds and rocks them alone in her rocking chair when she thinks no one is watching. It makes my heart melt seeing her love on her babies like I love on her. Even though I can see myself in her loving actions with her dolls, I pray that she doesn’t also notice my poor actions and words when I’m frustrated with her for not eating her lunch and then asking for a snack as soon as she gets down. You can probably tell I am still a little salty about that.
Tonight is no different from every other night. I sit here in my spot on the porch typing away and thinking about how I let the whole day slip away because I was tired and cranky and now I can’t get it back. People always say time flies. I found that to be true when Aubrey started turning over, crawling, standing, walking, RUNNING, when she turned 1, when she started talking, and when she turned 2. Now I realize it goes so fast because we are waiting for something. Waiting for the weekend, waiting for our husbands to get home, waiting for a break. We don’t just live in the moment and ENJOY the moment.
I am going to strive to do better. I am going to strive to BE better for my daughters. Today, I complained to my husband that Aubrey was misbehaving and being really sassy to me. I kept asking her “why? why are you acting like this?”. I know she’s two, but she is really a great kid and today she just seemed off. Then I realized that those puckered lips, scowl on her face, and snapping at me could have been and probably was caused by me. It hit me how my attitude towards her is shaping her; the good and the bad.
Tomorrow is going to be different. I am going to pause and think about what to say to Aubrey instead of raising my voice or glaring. I am going to play in her kitchen with her and pretend-eat all of the food she makes for me. I’m going to put my phone down and stop looking at the time. When she asks me for a snack for the forty-third time, I’m not going to snap. I don’t want another day to go by where I feel like it slipped through my fingers, and I also don’t want another day to go by where Aubrey feels like I don’t want to be there. One day, Aubrey won’t want to play with me anymore and I’m not ready for that day to come yet.

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Yay! First Post!

Thanks for checking out my blog and my first post! I am so excited to share this blog with you, as it will follow my experiences as a new mom, and hopefully it will help fellow new moms and give some humor to moms that have already been there and done that.

First off, this blog is not going to be about eating healthy, exercising, or using all organic products. I may mention some of that occasionally, but I just downed 6 cookies in one sitting, so at least the eating healthy part is out of the question. However, this blog WILL be about surviving parenthood any way that I can, and staying positive about it! I also like to dip into some crafts at times, when the baby is sleeping and I’m well rested and showered(maybe once a week) and I also like to read, travel, and hang out with my fur-children, so I’ll be throwing in a little of those every now and then.

So far, in only 7 weeks and 2 days of parenthood, I have learned A TON. I had read a lot of blogs and pinned a thousand pins on Pinterest before I had my daughter, in hopes that I would be a parenting professional before I even became one. Well, I can tell you that I am definitely NOT a professional, and they really don’t give you a manual. We were handed a baby with no instruction and we’ve kept it alive for 7 weeks so far, so I’d say we’re making it! I have learned that not everyone does it the same way and you know your baby best. What works for me may not work for another mom, and vice versa.

My main goal in this blog is to spread positivity. Being a mom is not easy. I see SOย many women on social media that have just had babies and their makeup is on, their hair is done, they look skinny (this one bothers me the most) and they appear to be wide awake. I realize that people use social media most of the time only to show their very best moments, but it gets to me, and I’m sure it gets to a lot of moms out there. I’m over here with no makeup, dried milk in my hair, and 15 extra pounds that just don’t want to leave. To top that off, I’m SUPER grumpy because my sleep is always interrupted(my poor husband has to suffer). So it makes me feel like I’m not doing something right, and makes me question why I can’t keep it together.

Well, I am here to tell you that you’ll make it, mama! We’re in this together. Even though we’re tired, smelly, fat, and grumpy(and it’s ok!) we are going to make it.ย cropped-img_8037.jpg